What’s your favourite self-help book about fear?
Most of us experience fear during our lifetime. But, raise your hand if you’ve experienced crippling fear? Now, raise your hand if that crippling fear exists more often than not, and prevents you from living your best life? Yes, me too. For as long as I can remember, I have had anxiety. And, with that, unfortunately, has meant a lot of fear. I’m talking A LOT. And, debilitating fear at that. The kind that makes it impossible to leave the house.
When my mental state was at its worse, my fear was bad. Really bad, you guys. I felt completely paralyzed by it. At the time, I tried everything I thought could help – I confided in others for support, started to practice more self-care, and read a self-help book about fear that forever changed my life.
Anytime I’m speaking with someone who is going through a similar experience, I always recommend they pick up this self-help book about fear. It’s called Feel The Fear…And Do It Anyway, by Susan Jeffers, Ph.D.
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DISCLAIMER: The information provided on this blog is written from personal and lived experience. You should not rely on this information as a substitute for, nor does it replace, professional mental health services, medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you have any concerns or questions about your health or mental health, you should always consult with a healthcare professional.
This self-help book about fear changed my life because it helped me understand it in a way I had never before.
Up until that point, I naively thought that when I felt stronger and healthier, I would wake up in the morning and feel NO fear. I thought that’s what it meant to heal. So, each time I would try working towards making myself this fearless superhuman, I would fail and fall deeper into fear and depression because, guess what folks, we are human. And fear is a part of life.
I was chasing an unrealistic goal until I read this book. This book taught me that fear is inevitable. It taught me that fear will be there whether I like it or not. I learned that waiting for a day where I will have NO fear was not only unrealistic but also an unfair pressure I was putting on myself.
More importantly, this book taught me that I’m the one in control – not my fear. Dr. Jeffers gave me practical ways to work through my fear. She motivated me to take responsibility for my life again and gave me hope that things would get better. And, guess what, things did eventually get better. (And then you wonder why I’m such a self-help book advocate?! They really can change lives, people! I’m living proof of it.)
One of the greatest takeaways from the book that I continue to turn to today is Dr. Jeffers’ Five Truths About Fear.
I remember jotting these truths down on a post-it note immediately after reading them, pinning that note to the corkboard in my bedroom, and repeating the truths out loud at the start of each day. I did this for as long as I needed to before I started to understand them fully. I eventually began to automatically think of these truths when faced with fear, rather than having to look these up. I began to feel more empowered and was able to literally feel the fear and do it anyway.
Not going to lie, I still have days where it helps to give these truths a peek. It doesn’t hurt to give yourself a good old Fear refresher.
I wanted to share some of these truths with you today, as they’ve completely changed my life when it comes to handling fear.
Here are 3 Truths about Fear from Dr. Susan Jeffers:
# 1 – The fear will never go away as long as I continue to grow.
Understanding this truth was the first step in my recovery. It was only when I understood that fear was always going to be there, that I was able to figure out how I was going to deal with it, how I was going to have it help me grow, as opposed to hinder me.
I eventually started to recognize my fear as something positive. It became an indication that I was growing. Each time I tried something new, I felt fear, but this turned into motivation to keep going. I became empowered, and the driver of my destiny as opposed to the victim.
# 2 – The only way to get rid of the fear of doing something is to go out and do it.
Let’s face it, when you’re feeling fear, you’re feeling pretty terrible at that moment. Your heart’s racing, your palms are sweaty, you doubt your every word, you’re feeling insecure and unworthy. It all sucks. How to get passed that, you ask? Well, I’ll tell you what you shouldn’t do, and that’s to avoid the situation that’s causing you fear. Avoiding will only make you feel worse about yourself.
Learning that fear actually goes away once you’ve gone out and have done something, is an incredibly empowering feeling. Each time I pushed myself to go out and do something, I felt stronger and less afraid. I stopped overthinking and started pushing myself into situations that once scared me, for hopes of getting rid of that terrible fear sooner. And it worked. I got rid of fear when I went out and did something, each and every time.
# 3 – The only way to feel better about myself is to go out…and do it.
How many times have you talked yourself out of doing something because you let your fear convince you that was the right thing to do? I know I have countless times. I also know that I immediately regretted not going for it. I felt worse about myself, more depressed, and guess what, MORE fear. It became a cycle of fear and regret. I felt stuck.
The truth is, you WILL feel better about yourself once you put yourself out there and do it. And, it doesn’t matter if you succeed at what you’re doing either, it only matters that you’ve pushed yourself to do it and you’ve done it. Putting yourself out there will build your confidence, sense of self-worth, and resilience.
You will feel empowered and able to take on your next goal and the next. You do NOT deserve to keep yourself in that debilitating fearful state you’re in. Get out by going out and doing it. You’ll feel so much better about yourself and your abilities. And, you DESERVE to feel good about yourself and the life you’re living.
From someone who has struggled with debilitating fear to another, I promise, it gets better. It is, without a doubt, possible to overcome this state you’re in. You deserve to live the life of your dreams, and to no longer feel stuck in a state of fear. I hope that you will love yourself enough to try anything in your power to help you get through this. Choose today to start making your joy and wellness a priority.
For me, learning these truths about fear has forever changed the way I handle my fears, and the book has given me the tools to push through, time and time again. If these truths also spoke to you, and you’re interested in reading more, find Dr. Susan Jeffers 5 Truths About Fear HERE, and grab her book HERE. Bye for now, my beautifully brave friends <3